What a tragedy

Allright, to all who were watching and reading anxiously awaiting news about SWAT school....
I went. I saw. I kicked some butt. I broke my foot.

The first five days are to see who has the guts and stamina to hang on. Lots of running, painful exercise, obstacles to climb, sand to belly crawl through, guns to shoot, and all of it in cold Indiana weather. The wind never seemed to stop blowing directly in my face. I was cold, wet, dirty, and segregated from the 12 other guys going through with me. After the first day I was so sore and could barely eat anything, and when I ate, I threw it up. Its a wonder I didnt get dehydraded, but thankful for the camelback my boss gave me I always had water to drink. I checked my phone when I came in around 9 pm to my empty barracks and I had a message from my son telling me good luck, he missed me, and wondered what I was doing. I got scattered cell phone service and only intermittently got text messages. I layed in my bunk and wondered if I really could do it physically since I was already in so much pain. We got a surprise wake up call around one a.m. to hustle over to the classroom and put our guns together blindfolded after they were piled in front of us on the table. We had 45 seconds. Of course all the yelling and comments didnt help much but we fumbled through. Then we went back to bed and had class at 0700 on coffee making and trash taking out. Tuesday was more of the same with high obstacles to climb and confidence courses to master. I had the most spectacular fall from some apparatus appropriately named "the dirty name" which managed to knock the wind out of me and crack a few ribs. Nothing can be done for broken ribs anyway, so I went on. After Wednesday I was certain I had entered a new level of Hell accidentally and was being tortured. Thursday we were up at 4 a.m. and dropped in the middle of the woods in the dark with a map and compass and told to find several markers. After slogging around in the woods and realizing everyone was hurting and tired and hungry and cold just like me, I accepted my hell and even grew to love the horrible challenge and accept the pain. Then when we reached our objective and went to the road it happened. I slipped. My foot slipped on some wet leaves and I heard a distinct pop. I tried to ignore it and got into the van. Then as soon as we got back to the classroom, it was time to get our guns and run to the range. I couldnt even walk it hurt so bad and I could feel a popping with every step. I went to the SWAT medics to ask if they could just wrap it up, but they refused saying it would just cause more damage. I told them I refused to give my DOR and I wasnt quitting. They then packed my crap and drove me to the emergency room in Indianapolis where I was diagnosed with Turf toe, cracked ribs, and a fractured foot. I only had one day left. Friday was the last day of hell week and the next week is mostly learning and classroom. I couldnt even talk about it yesterday I was so bitterly disappointed. I suffered through the hardest torture my body has ever been through and bonded with a group of guys I would give my life for, and it was all taken away because of one small mistep. It looks like I have to start this whole SWAT process over.

After shedding some tears about it, and wondering why me, I have concluded they havent seen the last of me. I will make it on the SWAT team. Next year when they have another process, I will be stronger, faster, and smarter than they can even believe.

Another thing that has come out of this is that the Medic and Lt. told me on the way to the ER that I had definitely opened some eyes and gained respect for how far I had gone. (We started out with 13 going to camp, 4 guys quit before they made me leave.)

Its tragic, but I will carry on and keep trying. I guess if you look at it like this, I will still have something to blog about. Ha ha. I will try to post some pictures of me at SWAT school on my blog in the next week or so. Thanks to all for the luck and support.