Whats been going on....

I havent blogged in a while, I have been way busy but I will just type up this quick post before I go to work to make note of what has been going on.

I still havent been able to "clean" 95 lbs on the weight bar. I make it up to 85 no problem, but have some sort of psychological disorder that wont let me drop my ass under the two 25 lb bumper plates. Dammit. I know I am strong enough because at the point of frustration yesterday, I THREW the barbell across the gym in a big green monster fit of rage. Not probably one of my best moments, but lucky for me I didnt take anyone out with it. My workouts have not gotten any easier, I havent really gotten any faster or stronger, I am kind of at an impasse. I am tired of feeling like everyone besides me is fast and strong and getting better. I need to keep better records about my workouts so I can tell that I really am improving, but I just cant see it. Kind of like when you loose weight, you dont really see it but someone else can.

I have also started a new Paleo diet. I really dont like "dieting" and think its stupid and a waste of time since I will almost definitely not cut out sugar or chocolate from my life for eternity, but it is for a reason. I have decided to take it upon myself to do the crossfit paleo challenge to see if my workouts and strength improve in 30 days. I am now at the beginning of day six of no grains, no sugar, no dairy, no peanuts, no beans....lots of lean meat, seeds, nuts, fruits, and veg. Why do I keep having dreams that I have cheated? In reality, I have been very good for eating only whats allowed for the last six days, water to drink, etc. Every time I go to sleep, however, I dream of downing a cookie or mashed potatoes. Its really odd. However, I am always truly relieved I didnt cheat once I wake up....if I am going to do this for 30 days, I really want to do it right and be all "scientific"....well as much as I can be.

I have been working about 7 days a week, sometimes I get the afternoon off of which I spend cleaning the house and washing the laundry because my husband and children have some sort of disease which makes them blind to messes. It must be a horrible handicap to have. I am really wishing I could have a true day off to spend by a pool or somewhere doing nothing where no one needs anything washed or wants me to cook food. (especially food that is not allowed on this new diet!!!)

I also have a new family member to contend with.....we are fostering a 3 month old kitten. She somehow got up into the engine block of one of my police recruits cars and had her little arm broken in four places and some broken ribs and other various scratches and boo boos. They were going to put her down, but she is just a baby!!! So some super wonderful vets that love animals fixed her up with surgery and meds and she came to stay at my house in her little cage on total rest. She has been with us for a week and will probably never leave. Millie and Smokey my other two cats have decided they hate her and hiss at her and spit and ignore her, but she is pretty insistant on their attention. I hope eventually the three of them will get along well enough where the little one doesnt dive under the recliner every time she sees Millie or Smokey hisses at her. My youngest son has been calling her Molly, and we have decided to name her Molly Moo. She is all black and tiny as can be but a super lovable kitty. What a traumatic way to start her life but I hope she lives the life of riley from now on.

I also have heard SWAT school is coming....not until next fall. So far away. Maybe it will be far away enough for me to forget how awful it is, kind of like childbirth.