Whats been going on....

I havent blogged in a while, I have been way busy but I will just type up this quick post before I go to work to make note of what has been going on.

I still havent been able to "clean" 95 lbs on the weight bar. I make it up to 85 no problem, but have some sort of psychological disorder that wont let me drop my ass under the two 25 lb bumper plates. Dammit. I know I am strong enough because at the point of frustration yesterday, I THREW the barbell across the gym in a big green monster fit of rage. Not probably one of my best moments, but lucky for me I didnt take anyone out with it. My workouts have not gotten any easier, I havent really gotten any faster or stronger, I am kind of at an impasse. I am tired of feeling like everyone besides me is fast and strong and getting better. I need to keep better records about my workouts so I can tell that I really am improving, but I just cant see it. Kind of like when you loose weight, you dont really see it but someone else can.

I have also started a new Paleo diet. I really dont like "dieting" and think its stupid and a waste of time since I will almost definitely not cut out sugar or chocolate from my life for eternity, but it is for a reason. I have decided to take it upon myself to do the crossfit paleo challenge to see if my workouts and strength improve in 30 days. I am now at the beginning of day six of no grains, no sugar, no dairy, no peanuts, no beans....lots of lean meat, seeds, nuts, fruits, and veg. Why do I keep having dreams that I have cheated? In reality, I have been very good for eating only whats allowed for the last six days, water to drink, etc. Every time I go to sleep, however, I dream of downing a cookie or mashed potatoes. Its really odd. However, I am always truly relieved I didnt cheat once I wake up....if I am going to do this for 30 days, I really want to do it right and be all "scientific"....well as much as I can be.

I have been working about 7 days a week, sometimes I get the afternoon off of which I spend cleaning the house and washing the laundry because my husband and children have some sort of disease which makes them blind to messes. It must be a horrible handicap to have. I am really wishing I could have a true day off to spend by a pool or somewhere doing nothing where no one needs anything washed or wants me to cook food. (especially food that is not allowed on this new diet!!!)

I also have a new family member to contend with.....we are fostering a 3 month old kitten. She somehow got up into the engine block of one of my police recruits cars and had her little arm broken in four places and some broken ribs and other various scratches and boo boos. They were going to put her down, but she is just a baby!!! So some super wonderful vets that love animals fixed her up with surgery and meds and she came to stay at my house in her little cage on total rest. She has been with us for a week and will probably never leave. Millie and Smokey my other two cats have decided they hate her and hiss at her and spit and ignore her, but she is pretty insistant on their attention. I hope eventually the three of them will get along well enough where the little one doesnt dive under the recliner every time she sees Millie or Smokey hisses at her. My youngest son has been calling her Molly, and we have decided to name her Molly Moo. She is all black and tiny as can be but a super lovable kitty. What a traumatic way to start her life but I hope she lives the life of riley from now on.

I also have heard SWAT school is coming....not until next fall. So far away. Maybe it will be far away enough for me to forget how awful it is, kind of like childbirth.

Before and after photos

They have been taking photos at work of "before" and "after" crossfit folks... of course they havent actually taken the after shots because the incumbent program is still on-going. I think they have just completed their third week of crossfitting three times a week in the six week program, so its about time for a mid way photo right? I am considering having a before picture taken, with the flabby belly and giant ass... of course since I am not really a true "before" I would hate to not see any progress at all and get discouraged after all the pain and torture and super fun crossfit I am doing. Of course I tease the guys and tell them "I have always been an after, you cant take my before".

I heard also today that the before and after photos you see some places are totally doctored up. Duh. What I didnt realize was they sometimes take the before and after photos the same day without any photoshop.... Apparently who ever is getting the photo is supposed to slouch and look unhappy while letting their flab hang out and basically take a totally unflattering photo. The next photo is the same person smiling and standing straight up and looking thinner and happier. Maybe I will just walk around with my shoulders back and smiling and never have to work out again. Ha ha ha.

Maybe I will just get brave and post a picture of my most hated body part... to "out" my tummy on the world wide web. Maybe if it admits that it has a problem (ice cream) it can learn to change.... (Cue sappy music and my belly button telling the world how it used to be flabby and a slave to the sugar gods until seeing itself posted online it hit rock bottom and decided sugar free was the way to be). Yeah, maybe I have lost my mind a little, but its still kinda funny to me.

Workouts and work

Todays WOD was 30 muscle ups for time, or if you cant do muscle ups, 120 pull ups/120 dips for time. Needless to say, I still am muscle up challenged so it was pull ups and dips for me. I finished in 18:10 and did my first two rounds of 10 pull ups without bands. I also graduated from the green stretchy band to the blue one. (What that means is it gives assistance, but not as much!). All in all, it was a pretty good workout day. Of course there I sat fretting when I would get the ever elusive muscle up, but I gave up on that too soon because it was wearing me out even to worry about it.

My stomach muscles are still fried out from five rounds of 30 GHD situps and 25 back extensions from Wednesday and it was a definite struggle to get started today but I survived.

Thursday we did hanging power cleans and I got super shitty I struggled with 95 lbs, but at least I was able to heave 90 lbs. Not too horrible for a girl who is 5'3" and 125. I am trying to at least get to body weight, slow progress but at least I am making some.

I am exhausted from working every day of the week without break but again, what can I do about it? Complaining isnt getting me anywhere, although somewhat cathartic.

I have also been looking at crossfit tee shirts, and there are really some funny zingers out there. I personally want to get one of the tank tops that say "I do pullups" or force my children to wear the shirt that says "My mommy can lift more than your daddy".... There are some really cool ones out there. Tomorrow is an off day, I may go for a little run but other than that, I plan on resting and getting my mojo back.

Maybe one day I will get a vacation and go somewhere nice. Heck, even a vacation somewhere not so nice would be okay. Is it wrong that I actually think going to my moms house would be better than working 7 days a week? Nah, maybe not. Ha.

Crossfit games

Is there any other form of exercise in the world that is viewed as a "sport"? Will you ever see the world wide pilates games? I am in awe watching the videos over and over again and hoping some day to be as awesome as these people. Of course, I realize that out of all the crossfitters in the world, these are the elite, but its still a goal right?

I was watching closely, watching technique and weights, etc. Is it kind of like the kid who plays little league baseball watching the big league? Maybe.

WOD yesterday, max weight thrusters 85 lbs. I tried three times and failed at 95. Bah. Next time. Then we ran two miles with the recruits. It was hot and slow going, but it did feel good to get a little sweaty. Today is an official crossfit rest day, but I think I will work on my kipping pull ups and box jumps.

I am also thinking for the level one cert I will get a pair of shorts that say "bootie by crossfit" on the back. I see a lot of shirts that say body by crossfit and thought this one would be funny. Of course then my shirt would have to say "belly by dunkin donuts" or something, but whatever.

Oh no, what have I done???

I have signed up for a crossfit level one certification. I think I might have lost my mind. All of the pictures on the website and video footage show super buffed out guys and gals with no body fat wearing spandex and shirts that say cool things like "body by crossfit". I am still unable to understand or complete a kipping pull up and I certainly dont wear spandex for my workout, unless it is underneath my shorts to conceal any undie shots during working out. I am wondering if they will make me cry and wear sweat pants and a black sweatshirt with powdered sugar from a donut smeared across the logo stating "body by cross-fat".

Now my fears of public scrutiny and humiliation are out there in blog land. Of course, the information I received after I signed up says I dont have to be in super good shape, but I am encouraged to join in the workouts, etc. Whimper, whimper, I am frightened.

Oh yes, also I have found a workout that was probably the most awful horrible workout I have ever encountered and I fear speaking its name will just bring it back (yeah a whole lord voldemort reference).... its EVA... Oh man, this one is such a horrible butt kicker. It took me almost an hour to complete, 58 minutes. Of course all the posted times to the website are in the 30 minute range, so that really helps the self confidence. Not. Sigh, I wish I knew some other 40 something girl who was not in spectacular shape who was going to this and had the same worries as me. Bah. I love myself for who I am, and if they cant take it, crossfit can cross-cram it up their fit butts!!!!