Is it really that time???

Okay so "D" day has nearly arrived. Tomorrow morning I shall slog my way to the academy through 6-8 inches of snow to test myself physically and mentally. (Of course, snow amounts are greatly exaggerated if the weather predictor was a man....seriously, think about it, have you ever met a man who really knew what 6-8 inches really looked like???? HA!)

I am trying to keep up with the busy work today, cleaning re-arranging things that have already been filed and re-filed hundreds of times. I have to keep reminding myself I can do this. I am strong and I am ready. Get behind me self doubt!!!! Trying to meditate, to use visualization techniques....seeing myself passing the test and being successful. I think I do well to have a goal, but I hope I havent "out-goaled" myself.

Lets take a trip back in time to just see how far I have really managed to come.

The first SWAT PFT was in September. I wasn't ready. I didn't have one pull up and I was slow on the sprinting and stairs. I struggled with the push ups and sit ups, and mostly didnt pass. I remember my goal on my daily workout was just to try to reach minimum SWAT entry standards. I was disappointed but determined when I heard they were having another assessment in January. But....this is perhaps not far enough.... lets go back a little further...

Six months or so before the first SWAT assessment....lets say 2008 at the start of May. It was just after getting released to go back to physical training from that stupid neck surgery. Nothing as liberating as being told I could run again and two weeks later running the mini-marathon and getting my personal best! With two weeks of training! Granted my personal best was still slower than most, but it rocked! This was before I decided to go out for SWAT of course. This was when I was still skinny armed and pudgly in the middle...but the mini was my goal and I did it. I was so happy. But wait, lets get in the "way back" machine a little further....

It must have been January or February in 2008...My best friend in the universe needed my help. She needed to do some push ups and running and her own PFT to get hired on the department. I was so there, I wanted to be able to do these things as well, it had been years since I was able to do the same thing the recruits are expected to do. So there we both were, struggling and really unable to do one good pushup. It was pathetic and hilarious at the same time. Sit ups were another big joke, maybe 20 if I struggled and farted all over myself. I did have the advantage of running a lot though, so the cardio never really hurt much. I was "skinny fat". (Which is a new term for just being totally out of shape but being able to squeeze into a size 6.) The goal then was to be able to drop and do push ups with the recruits without looking like I was dying. One more time, lets go back....aw come on, its not that boring right?

April 2006...the merger is coming on 1/1/07 and we are slowly being made into a whole new department....I am suddenly thrust into a new training enviroment where I am required to run. Yes this is the physical fitness training they have required the "recruits", running. Thats pretty much all they do. Well running and four hours of aerobics. I was a chubby out of shape girl, but being the only one to come over from my department, I refused to let them make me look bad or quit. It hurt, it sucked, but my pride carried me through and I learned running shoes are important and running was okay if you learned how to ignore the pain of it and have an out of body experience. I ate fast food almost every day, just quit smoking the year before, and never worked out.

Now a quick zip and we are back to the present, or future, or whatever! I am in pretty good shape, I actually like to run, and I really watch what I am using to fuel my body. (Even though cherry garcia is still the worlds most perfect food.) I have sacrificed laziness and sleeping in to get to where I am now physically, to say the least. The pain, sore muscles, strains, bunions, cold weather, hot weather, broken toes..... was it all worth it? I will let you know tomorrow afternoon.