Christmas, Mom, and my anniversary

Its almost Christmas. Again. Didn't we just have one of these last year? I wish I could get into the holiday spirit, but I just can't seem to find it. Oh yeah, my mom is coming into town. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but she really stresses me out. Doesn't every family have the "not good enough" kid? Or I am maybe just psycho and channeling some wierd middle child attention seeking thing? I dunno. Of course, maybe now mom will see my pimples cleared up and my hair shiny (I'll slather it with freaking crisco if I have to!!!) and she will have no further commentary on my appearance. Can't she just say how awesome it is that I am healthy and she can see how hard I am working out to better myself? Why does it even matter to me anymore? Seriously, I am supposed to be a grown up now, for pitys sake im almost 40! My sister has promised me plenty of encouragement in the form of rum drinks to be able to stand being around mom for any length of time, so it shouldn't be so bad. (Good thing she lives out of state or I would truly be a raging alcoholic!!!)

Today is also my 18th wedding anniversary. I have officially been married to my husband for a longer period of time than I spent single. Its a miracle. Its not been easy, no. At one point or another either one of us probably would have happily smothered the other to death with a pillow. But we still carry on! With the divorce rate itself, its a miracle, but add into that the divorce rate among cops and we should be on freaking Oprah! HA! (Okay maybe more like Springer...the title something like "SWAT police girl pokes unemployed housepainter hubby with crochet needles"...sounds kinky dont it? Ha ha ha!!!)

Jeckyll and Hyde

Today was a really painful workout. I felt exhausted before I even started! Sit ups, leg lifts, pull ups four rounds to failure.....I tell you my body was rebelling! Then we went and ran the stairs in the bleachers. At first it was just twice around the gym, up and down, up and down, for a nice warm up. Then sprints. Blah. After seriously considering vomiting a few times, then we ran the bleachers seven times. Well after 5 or 6 it was barely considered running because going up the stairs took mega effort and running down took mega effort not to just tumble. Of course I really shouldnt complain because I am glad that I got the workout done early so I can go home and crochet some blankets. Sounds hilarious doesnt it? I was working late nights and one of my co workers saw me crocheting away at a baby blanket when he said "SWAT don't knit". I was super happy to tell him that was fine, because this was crochet and I was just making gun cozys for the M-16's. I sometimes wonder if I am the only person that has two very different sides to them that really shouldnt co-exist but they do. I mean, okay, obviously I'm a cop, I like to work out, shoot guns, not to mention ground fighting and any other combatives. But I also really like to bake pies and cookies and any sweets and crochet blankets. I like watching old sappy movies and snuggling up on the couch almost as much as I like going to shoot simunition rounds at recruits on scenario days. I also like being a mom, and manage to do laundry and cook and clean. (Notice there was no "like" part about the cooking and cleaning...ha ha). Am I the only Jeckyll and Hyde out there? Or maybe everyone else just is better at hiding their secret alter ego.