Christmas, Mom, and my anniversary

Its almost Christmas. Again. Didn't we just have one of these last year? I wish I could get into the holiday spirit, but I just can't seem to find it. Oh yeah, my mom is coming into town. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but she really stresses me out. Doesn't every family have the "not good enough" kid? Or I am maybe just psycho and channeling some wierd middle child attention seeking thing? I dunno. Of course, maybe now mom will see my pimples cleared up and my hair shiny (I'll slather it with freaking crisco if I have to!!!) and she will have no further commentary on my appearance. Can't she just say how awesome it is that I am healthy and she can see how hard I am working out to better myself? Why does it even matter to me anymore? Seriously, I am supposed to be a grown up now, for pitys sake im almost 40! My sister has promised me plenty of encouragement in the form of rum drinks to be able to stand being around mom for any length of time, so it shouldn't be so bad. (Good thing she lives out of state or I would truly be a raging alcoholic!!!)

Today is also my 18th wedding anniversary. I have officially been married to my husband for a longer period of time than I spent single. Its a miracle. Its not been easy, no. At one point or another either one of us probably would have happily smothered the other to death with a pillow. But we still carry on! With the divorce rate itself, its a miracle, but add into that the divorce rate among cops and we should be on freaking Oprah! HA! (Okay maybe more like Springer...the title something like "SWAT police girl pokes unemployed housepainter hubby with crochet needles"...sounds kinky dont it? Ha ha ha!!!)

Some good news about the holidays

I have always loathed Christmas shopping. I never really had a reason, I like giving gifts to friends and family. I then just assumed it was because I am mostly anti-social and hate being around society in such droves. But yesterday, I figured it out. Its not really that bad after all! Think of this, you can now park your car as far away from the front of the store as humanly possible and no one is jocking you for that coveted front spot. Try this in August, the security droves on their segway's ask what you are up to and assume you are smoking crack in the parking lot. The standing in the long line used to irritate the crap out of me, but now, its really awesome to practice balance, left leg, right leg, left leg right leg. If you are into isometrics, you can even squeeze and release to your hearts content! No more wasted line time! Also, I think that part of the cardio is the heart thumping action of maybe getting crushed in oncoming traffic in the parking lot on the way out with your purchases! Ah yes, holidays arent as bad as I thought. Seriously, this should totally count toward my workout.

Holidays suck

I hate Christmas. I am not really sure when this happened and I became a Grinch but I sure hate it now. I am quite positive at some point I was a happy little child with bright eyes and wonder on Christmas morning. Now I am a groggy 37 year old shuffling through the house in a freaking housecoat fumbling for the coffee pot. Maybe its the pressure of getting the right gifts. I know, I know, save the lecture about how its about something totally different or religious or about the thought that counts. If you have ever seen actual disappointment on the faces of your children because you couldn't afford to get them what they really wanted or that fake "yes its been a good christmas mom" when they hardly had any gifts at all it might sour you to the holiday as well. Now, dont get me wrong, my kids arent spoiled and don't expect anything, but they secretly have the wish that for once mom will find some money somewhere or surprise them. I am sick of not being able to at least get them one thing on their lists. They dont ask for cars or computers or anything, but since everything costs so much now they might as well. Okay, so the gifts aside, maybe thats not why I hate it. Maybe its the family pressure. Yes, you have to get up and get going on what is generally a cold miserable day. Then you have to make the jolly holiday rounds with a bunch of people you rarely see (who might not be expecting gifts for their kids from you, but they certainly got your kids something...oh guilt!). Not to mention I am always introduced by my occupation, someone always has some comment to make, and someone always wants to talk to me about diet and exercise while I cram food down my gullet. I dont need self control to diet over the holidays, I always have some well wishing fool watching every bite I eat. (Oh yes, I can eat pie sometimes too!!! Thats right?!!! Its the holidays, dont you dare tell me Ill get fat!!! AAAAAAAH) Or maybe its just the fact that everyone everwhere says "Have a merry Christmas" or something to that effect. Stop telling me how to live!!!! Okay so seriously, I may have exaggerated a little bit but I still cant help but hate the holidays.